"Prevenient Grace"

Today we sang a hymn that I'd never heard before, "I Sought the Lord." It's a stunningly clear theological lyric, completely true, and yet remarkably tender. It's one of those hymns that you can imagine being sung by St. John, the Beloved Disciple, as he reclined upon the Master on the night He was betrayed.

The theology expressed here is a long-acknowledged truth of the Christian faith: God is the initiator of salvation. He made us, first of all, but He also seeks us out. The spiritual life contains a number of puzzling optical illusions. One of the most painful spiritual experiences is due to the illusion that the more virtuous we become, the more attuned our consciences are to our faults; and thus we often seem to be going in reverse.

At times like that it is helpful to remember that we aren't all that responsible for our own spiritual lives. Of course there is striving--there is a battle to be won--but the fact is that our very efforts are gifts from God. Grace goes deeper and deeper; we can never fathom the gift. Even our first turnings towards God, when we thought we were trying to win Him, He was seeking us out like lost sheep or lost coins, or like His own dear children.

God gives us grace to prepare us for conversion. This grace comes before we make any first move, it is pre (before) + venient (coming), that is, prevenient grace.

I sought the Lord, and afterward I knew
he moved my soul to seek him, seeking me;
it was not I that found, O Savior true;
no, I was found of thee.

Thou didst reach forth thy hand and mine enfold;
I walked and sank not on the storm-vexed sea;
'twas not so much that I on thee took hold,
as thou, dear Lord, on me.

I find, I walk, I love, but oh, the whole
of love is but my answer, Lord, to thee;
for thou wert long beforehand with my soul,
always thou lovedst me.